Confessions of a money blogger
Hi friends,
It’s been a while since I last posted. The truth is, this year has been a tough one so far. I’ve been suffering from worsening postpartum depression since February. With this comes overwhelming anxiety, which has translated to financial anxiety - meaning I haven’t been in the right headspace to post about being mindful with money when I myself don’t feel like I’ve got it all together.
Financial anxiety? Why? You may be asking. I returned to work from maternity leave in February (definitely not a coincidence that that’s when my PPD started - being a working mum is challenging!). I worked part-time until I resumed full-time work in June. That means we’ve had to rebuild our savings, and even though we didn’t exactly ‘start from scratch’ again, for me, it felt like it.
Something happened when I developed postpartum depression and anxiety - I couldn’t stop worrying. I know that 3-6 months’ emergency fund is enough, yet imagining having 6 months, 12 months, 18 months, 24 months of living expenses saved did nothing to ease my worries. No matter how much I imagined having in my emergency fund, I still felt an overwhelming sense of dread. It doesn’t help that the NZ economy is in a terrible state at the moment - everywhere I look, it seems to be all doom and gloom about record high unemployment rates, job redundancies due to AI, and record high business liquidations. I know I’m very fortunate to be employed, but I often wonder: how stable is my job? And what are the chances of finding another well-paying job if I lose mine?
My mind has been to dark places in the past few months, consumed with the fear of losing everything. Our jobs. Our house. Our future, our children’s future. What if we suddenly have to go on Jobseeker Support? Working for Families? Accommodation Supplement? In reality, it is quite unlikely that we would - but that’s the thing about depression and anxiety. It can cause spiralling hopelessness.
I’m grateful to be able to afford $67 doctor’s appointments, of which I’ve had many since my mental health deteriorated. Luckily, I’ve also got access to free prescription medications, which have helped. Today is the first day I have felt like things are slowly starting to improve; when the day has had a surprising sense of calm and normality.
So what have I been doing with my money during this time?
Budgeting - maybe a little too much. I have been obsessively forecasting our future finances, making sure we have enough this year, next year, the year after, and for the rest of our lives. I would not recommend doing this, as it’s anxiety-inducing, but it’s the truth. Allowing for some discretionary spending - like weekend brunches, occasional retail purchases like books & toys for our kids, clothes & dates for my husband and I - it looks like we can save at least $31,200 per year (at least $600 per week), up until both our children are at school, from which point we will be able to save at least $41,600 per year (at least $800 per week).
These figures are not set in stone - they are predictions based on our estimated yearly pay rises, the KiwiSaver contribution rate increase, bills going up slightly each year (such as our biggest, daycare fees), etc. To be on the safe side, I haven’t included our yearly bonuses, which we receive twice a year, in March and in September, so fingers crossed the actual figures are actually higher!
I haven’t accounted for any holidays, though - I honestly don’t know when we’ll feel capable travelling with two young children (we’ve only been on a 1-hour flight!), so parents of older children, please do let me know when travelling with children becomes easy. I also want to travel when my little ones are able to remember it and cherish the memories.Saving money on transport & food with a flexible WFH arrangement. After explaining my situation and providing three medical certificates from my doctor, I was approved for a 6-month WFH arrangement, meaning I don’t have to go to the office until January 2027. This is saving me at least $80 per week in transport ($20 full-day parking x 3 days + $20 of petrol per week), or $29.40 per week in public transport, though I’ve never bussed to/from work. It’s likely saving me even more, as I tend to treat myself to sushi and coffee when I’m out - it makes my workday so much more bearable!
Continuing to invest for our children, at a lower rate, in order to boost our own savings first (my husband’s and mine). We usually invest $120 per week - $60 per child. Right now, temporarily, we are investing $40 per week - $20 per child, and we have chosen for this weekly $20 to go towards their Sharesies.
Pathfinder Global Responsibility Fund, in both their investment portfolios, is doing well at the moment (returns of over 20%), while everything else - including FNZ, VESG, and ESG - are also doing well, at slow and steady rates (returns of up to 6%).Continuing to invest in my financial literacy with personal finance books. Recently, I’ve enjoyed How to Raise Rich Kids and Twelve Months to Financial Freedom, while Get Growing is on my TBR. I just wish there were more quality New Zealand personal finance books, as most of the ones I like are Australia or US-based.
Starting study towards the career of my dreams. I’m finally doing it: thinking about what I want to do in the future, even if I don’t have the capacity to switch careers right now. I’m starting a diploma which will cost me $890 per paper for six papers - a total of $5340. I’m nervous but excited. Am I afraid of spending $5000+ and 3 years of my life taking a risk that might or might not pay off? Absolutely. But I remind myself that those 3 years will pass anyway, and I can either have something to show for it or not.
Thinking about starting to give our toddler pocket money. I’ve been reading books about money to our 3-year-old (the Moneybunny series) and he’s starting to grasp personal finance concepts. It’s been very important to me to teach him the concept of balance: both save and spend. Save for the future, but spend - wisely - so that you still get to enjoy life, because that’s the whole point of money. He’s also expressed interest in getting a wallet (because he saw one with Spider-Man on it). My husband and I are planning on getting him the Spider-Man wallet and giving him play money to save $5-10 per week, so he can learn to save consistently and spend wisely. Can’t wait to see how it goes!
Hopefully, I’ll be in a better state of mind next time I write. Wishing you a fantastic rest of 2026,
Sophia
